Mukilteo Beacon - Your Hometown News Source

After a long, chatty call with my daughter the other night, she mentioned that it was time for her nightly routine. She and my son-in-law apparently do the New York Times crossword... — Updated 11/25/2020

The first noise was the worst, although I was asleep. This raises a sort of empirical question: If a horrific, tearing, crashing sound occurs outside your window and you’re uncons... — Updated 11/18/2020

I have unremarkable taste in everything, which should come as a surprise to no one. And when it comes to culture, I only pretend to march to a different drummer. It’s usually the... — Updated 11/11/2020

To be completely clear, I am uninterested in most things. I don’t have passionate feelings one way or the other. I don’t often talk or write about these things. This is because... — Updated 11/4/2020

I want to tell you about a fun experiment I pulled off the other day, but first I have to explain why I’m a hypocrite. I don’t care for social media. Or, to make it simpler, I... — Updated 10/28/2020

I am a keeper of irrelevant anniversaries, which strikes me as a talent not unlike being able to raise one eyebrow or dislocate your little finger, mostly because I can also do... — Updated 10/19/2020

My father-in-law was visiting one summer when my kids were little, and he came across one of those parenting magazines that were always hanging around the coffee table. He laughed,... — Updated 10/14/2020

I have never read “Anna Karenina,” and I feel confident that this will always be the case. Never say never, of course, but I’m going to say it anyway. I haven’t seen all of... — Updated 10/6/2020

I’m old enough to remember when nostalgia was new. That’s how old. The word has a Greek derivation, meaning “painful return,” which suggests that an evolution of the... — Updated 9/28/2020

Toward the beginning of COVID time, I made a half-serious joke. A half-joke. It was along the lines of, “I’m eating plain flour tortillas, watching cat videos, and shopping... — Updated 9/23/2020

All of us will occasionally find ourselves standing in the kitchen, wondering why we went in there. In the age of COVID, I’m pretty sure this happens a lot. This has led me to... — Updated 9/14/2020

There is something egalitarian about taking a tumble. I’m sure Queen Elizabeth has fallen a few times in her 94 years, losing a battle with gravity exactly as a commoner would,... — Updated 9/9/2020

My grandson is nearly 7 years old, a remarkable child in many ways, bright and curious, but also very much a normal kid. By which I mean he’s discovered puns, right on time. I’m... — Updated 8/31/2020

I’m missing the Olympics this summer, which could explain why YouTube is showing me videos of runners and jumpers lately, trying to entice me. They always succeed. I usually... — Updated 8/26/2020

We would have stayed home this summer, pandemic or not. It’s what we do in the summers, and we have reasons. And the biggest one is that, after nearly 40 years of living in... — Updated 8/17/2020

“Are you eating M&Ms for breakfast?” my wife asked the other day, although politely. We’re very polite in this household at the moment. It just makes sense to be on our best... — Updated 8/12/2020

Whatever this is, I've been doing it for five months now. And so have you, obviously. While the "same storm, different boats" concept is also obvious, five months is enough time... — Updated 8/3/2020

The calendars are just mocking me now. And they’re everywhere. My computer monitor. My phone, my tablet, my fitness tracker, my car. My microwave. Every appliance in my home, in... — Updated 7/22/2020

Forty years ago, as I walked across a theater parking lot, preparing to see "The Empire Strikes Back" and pretty excited about it, my companion was also pretty excited. Even though... — Updated 7/14/2020

I was wandering around the edges of a luncheon that was winding down, looking for a job to do or else a stray cupcake I could swipe. We were loaded with cupcakes that day. I’m... — Updated 7/8/2020

In the spirit of civil disobedience that has swept over the land, I made an illegal U-turn last weekend. This isn't a metaphor. It's also not an act of rebellion against the... — Updated 6/29/2020

There’s nothing I trust less – a random anecdote, a suspicious Abraham Lincoln quote, Donald Trump – than my own memory. This is so common among my peers that it’s hardly... — Updated 6/24/2020

I have a funny story about Father's Day and this newspaper column, although it's possible I've told it before. It's also possible it's not funny. I'm pretty sure about the holiday.... — Updated 6/15/2020

I’ve been doing some thinking, and the last person I actually hugged before we all locked ourselves in our houses was a linguist. You never know who’s going to be the last one.... — Updated 6/10/2020

I can revisit my childhood anytime I wish, dropping in at a moment's notice, connecting with my earliest memories on a whim. I lived on Google Street, just two clicks from you. That... — Updated 6/3/2020